Improved Space Invader Defensive Shields to be Fully Installed by July 2006

For Immediate Release
Office of the Press Secretary
Contact: (999) KL5-9020
May 12, 2005

The Department of Gameland Security (DGS) Assistant Undersecretary Leslie Doom announced today that installation of the improved SIPMs (Space Invader Precautionary Measures) is four weeks ahead of schedule and will likely be completed by mid-July. The project, started in October 2003, will protect major cities and townships from unannounced attacks from hostile Space Invaders intending to harm citizens of Gameland.

When the Space Hostile Offensive Limitations Act (SHOLA) was set forth in June of 2003, the DGS tapped Major F.X. Cannon to oversee the task of creating a more effective defense system in case of space attacks. Spearheaded by Maj.Cannon and Capt. T. Nishikado, the SIPMs project's main purpose is to provide Gameland with a first line of defense against incoming invaders from space. In the past, these measures have worked well, but ironically they were eventually worn down by Gameland's own defensive strategy.

"We found one way to defeat the Space Invaders was to shoot through our own shields," said Cannon from his office at DGS. "It seems like a pretty obvious move, but the Space Invaders fell for it every time. The downside of this kind of tactic is that you end up destroying your shields after several invasions from space. Thankfully, we realized it was time to do something about it. I don't like to think about what the next invasion would have been like without this update."

The improved SIPMs are built with this 'shield strategy' in mind. Laser fire can go out, but it can't come in. "This allows our tanks to implement the same defensive strategy, but the shields suffer far less damage," said Nishikado. "It's very much like the arrow loops you see in old castles. Same principles. But we're talking lasers, not arrows."

The SIPM Program is budgeted at Cr. 35,000,000,000. This cost includes demolition of existing structures, design and construction of shields, and a full-time staff to maintain the new defense system. Since October 1978, Gameland has been attacked by Space Invaders over 400 times. In addition to the SIPMs, the DGS is implementing a more rigorous training program for laser tank operators, so they will be more prepared on the field of combat.

The level of cooperation from the Department of Gameland Security, the Bureau of Space Battle and War, the Department of Stratosphere , the Gameland Office of Construction and Engineering, the Gameland Office of Travel and Tourism, and the Office of Public Safety demonstrates the importance of getting this project off the ground and into the air where it can protect all of us from the evil of space.